I love horror films….i just don’t like the scary bits! And so i got a decent view of this ‘scream-fest’ through the stitching of my coat.

Now i hadn’t seen the original cult classic before going to see this latest offering by Director Samuel Bayer, and so the plotline was completely new to me…and i must say it was really un-nerving!

We’ve all indulged in the horror films that have been and gone: Scream, Psycho, The Ring, My Bloody Valentine etc … and all of their ‘horrific leads’ are all massacring the cast list left, right, and centre for no apparent reason. Nightmare On Elm street however, sports a villain that is also a peadophile…now that’s un-nerving.

I do think they try too hard to make him a ‘super villain’ though towards the end as the language and lines reach a peak which would make my mother blush! However it’s done within the ‘hyper-relality’ of the whole film.

I also thought this remake was much more ‘jumpier’ than horrors i had seen previously, as you usually get that few ‘tension-building bars’ before anything is slaughtered, but i found myself jumping more often in this one, as there was very little notice of what was coming.

The plot line itself was quite tedious after the first umpteen characters had been picked off by the infamous Freddy Krueger, and i found myself willing him to kill the next few so they could unearth some more info on ‘why’ he was slaughtering them so unmercilessly.

Although the original was deemed as a ‘cult classic’ i didn’t think there was much to the plotline that would keep an audience hooked for the entire screening, although Jackie Earle Haley was coined a much better Freddy Krueger than his predecessor Robert Englund.

The other main characters in the story spend most of their time fighting off ‘sleep deprivation’ and running from Freddy, which is almost comical in a ‘Scary Movie’ sense if anything.

If you’ve seen the original and are just curious as to how they’ve re-made it then I think it’s well worth a watch, but if you’re expecting a ‘cult classic’ i’d watch something else …


I attended the viewing of the particular flick on the reassurance of my boyfriend that it would be ‘dead funny’, and although i had my reservations at first (note the title), i must say i was not dissapointed!

‘The Hangover’ meets … the 80s in this laugh-a-minute masterpiece, starring John Cussack as theario ‘Adam’, unlucky in love and anything else.

Other notables include: Clark Duke (Dave Lizewski‘s ‘fatter friend’ in Kick Ass), Rob Corddry (What Happens in Vegas…., Blades of Glory), & Craig Robinson (Zack and Miri Make a Porno, & “The Office”). Together the band of friends set off for an adventure they’ll never forget.

Following Lou’s (Rob Corddry) ‘suicide attempt’, the friends (+ Jacob [Clark Duke]) decide to embark on a journey to the site of some of their most memorable weekends, the ‘Kodiak Valley Ski Resort’. However, it has become run-down and resembles nothing of how they remember it.

After deciding to drown their sorrows of a less-than-‘happening’ holiday while flauncing around in the ‘magically-fixed’ hottub…they wake up in 1986 and so the story begins.

The actors know it’s cheesy and that’s what makes it so funny. If you loved The Hangover, you’ll definitely love this!

As they say, “sex sells” and there’s certainly a fair few ‘cringe-worthy’ scenes in this, so if your of a nervous disposition or easily embarrased i wouldn’t go and see it with your mum!

Other than that it’s a great watch! So what you waiting for?? …


Now before I go off on a tangent…I have just realised something as I ‘borrowed’ this image from ‘Mr G’…and that is the two words most prominent for me on the top line of this poster…’THE RING’.

Although these words may not mean much to the proverbial reader, to me it incurs months of sleepless nights and the inability to have a TV in my room in times of darkness…

Yes, i admit it, I’m a ‘wus’! (and if I’d have realised before hand that the sadistic sod who’d created ‘that’, had also had something to do with ‘Shelter’ then i wouldn’t have watched it!)

Having said that, it didn’t really touch the whole ‘white-faced-dead-girl-(who’s in desperate need of a hair cut)-crawling-out-of-TVs’ boundary, so I shall be sleeping!

The film centres around psychiatrist Cara (Julianne Moore), who is enlisted by her father (Jeffrey DeMunn) to get to the bottom of Adam ..’s (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) rather ‘disturbing’ personality disorder, only to soon discover that all of his ‘personalities’ are murder victims…

Although i shockingly lost my ‘lust’ for ‘Jonny’ whilst watching this film, i would challenge any normal woman to sustain a liking for a ghost/devil-like-south gatherer. (Although he does look mighty fine throughout!)

Having expected a thoroughly ‘thrilling’ experience went I went in, it was soon aware I was to expect more ‘gore’ and ‘horror’ than there was really much ‘thinking’ and ‘twisting’ in the tale.

Notable performances definitely come from Meyers who maintains an impeccable list of personas, voices, and heights of hysteria throughout the lengthy film, which keep you guessing as to ‘who’ he really is…

However, Julianne Moore plays her part quite ‘loosely’, seemingly only capable of ‘hysteria’ and an attempt at ‘surprise’. Basically, she grates on me the same way Jodie Foster does. I’m not a fan.

Having said that, the film is held well by Meyers and his fellow cast as well as the lengthy plot. It is by no means the best ‘thriller’ i’ve seen for a while, but it definitely the most ‘jumpy’ iv seen for a while.

If you’re looking for more of a horror than a thriller, then this is definitely up your street!

Kick Ass

Now although this film professes to be ‘unlike’ that of any spider-bitten, bat-fearing, kryptonite-allergic, feline-like notables, it does indeed seem to be that way!…

Kick Ass is a superbly written action/comedy that follows the plight of young ‘nerd’ Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson), who growing tired of always being at the rather unfortunate end of a clenched fist, decides to don a wetsuit and mask (as you do) to fight back against the organised crime that rules the streets of New York, headed by the notorious Frank D’Amico (Mark Strong).

Joined by a number of other rather ‘brave’ lycra-wearing celebrities, including: Nicholas Cage, Chloe Moretz, & Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Dave pursues his lonesome pledge to rid the streets of the ‘bad guys’, under the superbly titled alias of ‘Kick Ass’.

This is without a doubt a laugh-a-minute spectacular, partly from the mind of Mrs Johnathon ‘Woss’ herself, Jane Goldman. True to its roots, the plot includes many a ‘pit stop’ for love, loyalty, law-breakers, and a whole lot’ta lycra!

The film is also quite ‘bloody’ for those expecting any seemingly ‘breathing’ corpses, there definitely isn’t anyone still of this mortal coil who’s on the wrong side of the law in this one!

Notable performances come from lead protagonist Aaron Johnson, who even fooled me that he was indeed American born and bred, until i watched Johnathon Ross tonight and realised he spoke in a perfect English tongue!

Chloe Moretz flies around screen like something out of a Jackie Chan feature, with expert precision, and she is the only notable celeb to really do so. One to watch out for.

Not one to spoil the plot i won’t let you know how it ends, but it does pave the way for a possible ‘Kick-Ass 2’. On the whole, although it professes to be different from your Peter Parkers and Clark Kents, it really isn’t.

There is still that bare skeleton there that resides within all of its counterparts: geeky boy falls for girl…she doesn’t want to know…he ‘suprisingly’ becomes a superhero through some means (weird spider, death of parents…) … fights the baddies…gets the girl. Need i say more?


“Aaaaaaallllrighty theeeen!” (sorry I couldn’t resist! *Cringe*)

But, it does go to show our predispositions when the infamous ‘Jim Carrey’ comes under the spotlight of question. It is undoubtable that he is best-known for the iconic roles as yesteryear, including the likes of: Ace Ventura, The Mask, Charlie/Hank, & Bruce Nolan to name but a few!

These are all iconic films of my childhood and teenage years, and notable so because of Carrey’s hilarious ability to put his hugely animated persona into each and every character he plays. He is one of the best comedy actors of his generation without a doubt, however, when this little movie gem came about, it gave Carrey the chance to do something a little more serious.

‘I Love You Phillip Morris’ is the true tale of Steven Russell, an adept con man and (for want of a better term) ‘as gay as a row of tents’! After a failed marriage and an even worse attempt at ‘fraud’ by all means of hilarious ‘accident claims’, he lands in the slammer, and in only the way he can, he takes to it like a duck to water, knowing all of the ins and outs of jail life and exactly how to get what you want *cringe* (i hope none of you are homophobic!)

He soon meets Phillip Morris (Ewan McGregor), a shy, retiring gay man who finds solace in the arms (and rather crudely…’other anatomies’) of Steven. A love story unfolds, and the pair, separated only by the training yard of the prison write to each other until they are reunited once more. After leaving prison together, Phillip believes them to be leading an honest life, but Steven has other ideas … i won’t spoil the main bulk and indeed the rather tear-jerking and emotional ending, but it is well worth the watch!

*WARNING* if you are indeed in any way homophobic or are looking for a nice romantic movie in which to take your girlfriend on a first date, i would strongly advise against you seeing it…as apart from the very explicit sex scenes, the poor girl may think you’re trying to tell her something!

Shutter Island

Now i must admit, post-Titanic, lovely Leo’s film career seemed to take a nose dive, 90s ‘curtains’ and all! However, when i heard that he was to star in this epic thriller by Dennis Lehane i was optimistic it would be a great performance.

Dragging along a fellow thriller-lover, we headed to Birmingham’s Odeon, on New Street to watch this latest Scorsese screening.

Lured into what seemed to be the ‘catacombs’ of Birmingham city centre, we eventually reached our screen; and after having divulged in all manner of converse, the film eventually started. 15 minutes in, my coat that was previously disguarded on the back of my chair was firmly infront of both mine and Clare’s faces!

However following the initial scare of:

… the film became much more settled with the business of confusing the audience to within an inch of their lives! …

The plot follows Inspector Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his partner Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo) on their quest to get to the bottom of the ‘whereabouts’ of missing patient ‘Rachel Solando’ (Emily Mortimer) from Ashecliff Hospital for the criminally insane, on Shutter Island.

Without giving the plot away, any audience member is sure to leave utterly mind-boggled by the end of the 138min feature. Scorsese takes you on a whirlwind journey through the dark and dingy halls of Ashecliff, as he drops little hints here and there as to the shocking secret that lies within the final 30mins or so of the film.

Be prepared for an ending much like that shocked you at the end of ‘The Others’, & ‘Sixth Sense’, as a web of lies, deceit, and good ol’ murder comes spewing out in the final few scenes, that an audience who ‘may’ have spent most of the film with the audio muffled through her ‘very-nice-bargain-of-the-xmas-sales-09’ coat  will find most confusing to take in.

However, assuming you don’t find refuge under your vestiments, you may just stand a chance of getting to the bottom of this  thriller!

Alice In Wonderland

Now firstly I must apologise for the lack of any ‘reviewing’ on here over the past month, however, the organ-grinders at uni have been ‘grinding’ hard and therefore i haven’t had many spare evenings in which to indulge in a film…

Having said that, Tim Burton’s long-awaited Alice In Wonderland was very much worth the wait!

Bursting at the seams with all means of bizarre Burton bearings, this film is iconic of his ability to take a time-old tale and reinvent it in only a way he can.

Reasonably ‘dark’ throughout, this is something you come to expect from his output. But apart from the possibility you might have a few ‘hair-raising’ moments, it’s nothing that will land you weeks of sleepless nights as your offspring decide there’s a large chance of a ‘Bandersnatch’ emerging from their wardrobe, all 3 rows of teeth blazing…

Contrary to my original assumptions, this is NOT  a remake of the original film/book. Instead, it leads on from the original, as Alice is about to turn 20. Without giving too much of the plot away, she is still haunted by ‘memories’ of Wonderland and when she is proposed to she takes refuge on a ‘solitary walk’, where she inevitably falls down the largest rabbit hole I’ve ever seen in my life! And a wierd and wonderful adventure ensues in all of its 3D wizardry

However, although it is a ‘lead on’ from the original and more ‘familiar’ tale that we have all come to love, Burton includes a whole host of the original characters that you will instantly recognise. The cast is superbly star-studded with the likes of: Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Matt Lucas, Helena Bonham Carter, Stephen Fry, Michael Sheen, Alan Rickman, & Timothy Spall to name but a few!

Hollywood walk of fame list over, you may never recognise half of them anyway, as they are mostly digitally remastered to within an inch of their lives! Steven Fry takes the form of the mysterious Cheshire Cat, Matt Lucas the face and voices of a rather plump Tweedle Dum & Tweedle Dee, Alan Rickman the wise old ‘blue Caterpillar’, Michael Sheen the famous ‘White Rabbit’, and Timothy Spall a faithful blood hound called ‘Bayard’.

Notable performances include the unfaultable Johnny Depp, who plays the Mad Hatter more nuttier than a Cadbury’s ‘fruit & nut’ bar! Although the spontaneous lurches into a ‘scottish accent’ were sometimes a bit off-putting, it all added to his superb take on the infamous Hatter!

Helena Bonham Carter was also a superb Queen Of Hearts (albeit with a very large head!) and she played the rather ‘spoilt’ sister of the ‘white queen’ (Anne Hathaway).

The visual effects were the most prominent for me. It was superbly done in computer-generated imagery. And with the 3D effect as well it was absolutely stunning, and you really feel as if you are there in Wonderland with Alice herself!

On the whole, I thoroughly enjoyed this latest Burton wonder and can’t wait until in comes out on DVD!

So what are you waiting for??! Get out there and watch it!

My Rating: